Missed Chances
by UniqueInsanity
Summary: We all make choices that send us on different paths, but some choices we may regret for our entire lives. BartyxLily Enjoy!


_Decided to try something different, so what could be more different to Barty and Lily?_

_I really enjoyed this one, and hope you will too (:_

_Ox_

After all these years, you still have a hold of me.

But you've gone, you've left me.

I'm alone.

Why do you still have a grasp on me, why do I still feel for you?

It's evening time; people are coming to see you. You were always loved by people, weren't you? I should know that. I watch from a distance, like I always did with you. I never let myself get to close; I didn't want to admit what I felt for you. I still don't want to admit it, but I can no longer lie to myself.

I'm too late.

_xxx_

_The pain in your eyes is enough to melt even my cold heart, your striking green eyes pleading with my dark brown ones. There's desperation in the air, with tension building up by the second. Neither of us seemed to be breathing. _

"_I helped you through everything… Every time you needed me, I was there for you. I'm just asking you to do this simple thing for me.. For us.." Her voice was a strained whisper, and with how her lip seemed to tremble, she was struggling with her emotions. A shaking breath cuts through the silence, and I'm surprised to learn it's my own. She always had an effect on me that none other could dare to dream of._

_She gently reached for my hand, but I recoiled, like she had burned me. I couldn't do what she was asking me to do, no matter how much I felt for her. But there were things she couldn't do for me either, and I let her know that._

"_Us? There is no us!" I spat, maybe a little too viciously; seeing how she winced I softened a little. "There never has been an us, just and you and him, and me when you're upset with him for something he's done. All you've done is use me for your own needs." I said, not able to hold eye contact with her any longer. _

"_Fine." She retorted, her temper flaring, quite easy to see behind those eyes that would forever be implanted in my mind. "Stay with the Death Eaters. All I have ever done is try to do what's best for you. But it doesn't even matter anymore. I hope you'll enjoy Azkaban, if you're lucky enough to even get there." She said out of temper, something that was very unlike her, shocking me._

_I stood watching her walk away from me, walk out of my life forever, the locks of red hair I loved so much, so soft, swirling around her face as she walked away, her fists clenched by her side. _

_I stood, frozen, wishing then I could turn back time._

_Wishing I could take back my words._

_xxx_

As the light disappears, your visitors seem to dissolve with it. Darkness descends, leaving me alone with you, for the first time in years. It's the first time since that night I have been with you, and I still have the same regrets.

Skulking out from the shadows, I make my way to you, anger choking me, making it harder to breathe. I clenched my fists tight, my nails digging into my skin. It was a pain I could control, unlike the pain I had from losing you.

I kneel to the dry ground, the pebbles sticking into my skin, but it doesn't matter.

Nothing matters anymore.

Here I am, at your gravestone, one you share with your husband. It could have been me who held that title, and if it were, maybe this would of never happened to you. Your lively laughter, sparkling eyes, dazzling smile and fiery red-hair would still be living, not wasting away beneath me now.

Unconsciously, I reach out to stroke your name on the headstone.

'Lily Potter, died a protective mother and a loving wife.'

Tears burn behind my eyes, but I blink them back, refusing to allow them to fall.

Gently, I lay a rose on your grave. It's the perfect reminder of you; the deep red for your hair and the vivid green for your eyes.

"I'm sorry…" I whisper, just hoping wherever you are, you can hear me, because I am. I have been sorry for every day I have lived since we had that conversation. I wish I could of done what you asked of me, and left them, but you just don't understand, Lily. You never did understand. I could never leave, and I still can't. Even knowing he killed you, took you away from me, I can never leave. I am bound to him.

Also, I am bound to you, even if I will not admit it.

But I wish I had. It would of made you happy, and that was all I wanted.

Pulling myself to my feet, with one last glance your new home, I turn my back and walk away, just like you did that night many years ago, but now there is no going back. We chose our paths, and suffered their consequences.

The love that lasts the longest is the love that can never be.

**Fin**

_Love it? Hate it? Either way I want to know.. Anyone who reviews gets a cookie :D Ox_


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